my lucky charms

There are many things in my life right now that I need to focus on. The fact that I need to be my own person again, to be able to work on myself...

But the most important thing I need to focus on is all the wonderful blessings I've been gifted with.

1. My immediate family, supporting all my stupid and crazy decisions (biting their tongue throughout them all), but most importantly being there for me whenever I fall flat on my face as a result of said crazy and stupid decisions.

2. My extended family out here, supporting me financially and emotionally. In the thick and thin of it all, I've always been able to count on my aunties and uncles for all their incredible love they've showered me with. I could not have asked for a better home away from home.

3. My cousins, especially the young and innocent ones who bring me back down to earth. They've taught me about patience, of kindness, of being able to understand personalities and working/playing together without judgement. I'm exposed to a kind of safe and comforting environment that I thought I had left back in LA, and it's just safe to say there's nothing quite like the wonderful joys of childhood.

4. My friends who are still there for me through the thick and thin of it all, supporting my crazy and sometimes stupid decisions, wholeheartedly cheering me on all the way.

In spite of whatever may happen to me, I am grounded knowing I am surrounded by such amazing and wonderful people. I am truly blessed.

xo.

yuna - colors

on heavy rotation today... her voice is so soothing & beautiful, 

but most importantly, it speaks for my heart

" 

we must be willing to let go 

of the life we planned

so as to have the life 

that is waiting for us 

" 

- Joseph Campbell 

Remember

"
  Remember, spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. 

  Remember to say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. 

  Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. 

  Give time to love, give time to speak, and give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. 

"

- Bob Moorehead

people watching

people watching people I've come across while going about my day to day 

running guy every morning as I am just preparing to go out for my morning jog, this running man is just coming back, dripping head to toe in glistening sweat with a fist full of flowers. He is definitely one of my favorite people in my neighborhood. It seems like every morning, without fail, he returns from his run with a lovely bunch of flowers in his hand. Okay true he probably just stole this mini bouquet, and (being well over six foot I'm sure) actually looks ridiculous dripping with sweat and his teeny tiny shorts sticking to his mile-long legs... but one can't deny just how endearing the whole situation is. Oddly enough, even though we live in the same building, I don't think I've ever seen him any other time in any other state.

adorable scandinavian toddler during a random visit to Holland Village the other day, I was waiting behind this very European family at the crosswalk. The mother and father were the epitome of gorgeous-blonde-and-blue-eyes, tall and majestic, even with the little smidge of pink on their complexion from the scorching Singaporean sun. They had two boys with them; one appeared to be about five or six, but definitely much older and more sure of himself in comparison to the other, who was holding his mother's hand and appeared to be about three or four. This younger one kept squirming, dancing, hopping and skipping all the while we were waiting for the green walking man to light up. His mother would speak in a language I didn't recognize, but it seemed like a kind of Scandinavian language, trying to appease his excitement. All this is seemingly normal, yes, but what caught me completely off guard was for the entire time we were waiting, this little boy was was singing away... in Chinese.

electric wheelchair qinqin player nearly every weekend on Orchard, there is a woman who sits in an electric wheelchair playing what I can only assume is a Qinqin (please don't take my word for it; I may look Chinese, but it doesn't mean I know the culture very well, frankly). She sits amidst the massing throngs of tourists and shoppers, her image perforated by the sea of bodies rushing from designer boutique to upscale cafes. Throughout the shuffles of people, she strums what I can only describe as this beautiful traditional Chinese tune, taking you back for a brief moment to the time of emperors, concubines, forbidden palaces, and the like. Day by day she continues playing this music from another time, all in the midst of the most contemporary and cosmopolitan cities in Asia.

resolutions and recaps

I came across an old entry today... it was my resolutions list for 2012. 

2011 highlights:
(in no particular order)

1. italy
2. italy with Dylan
3. graduation
4. visiting my bestie in Berkeley
5. celebrating our second New Years as a couple
6. pounding mochi with my Abuelita
7. spending more time with my family, in general
8. SF/SLO roadtrip with Dylan (edit: actually this was only an SF trip-- the SF/SLO trip was in 2012)
9. going to Whistler and VanCity
10. being healthy, body and mind.


2012-- 'things to do'

1. be more patient
2. read more books and newspapers
3. go to another country for an extended amount of time, to work?
4. stay positive; optimism is key in life!
5. go on a cruise
6. become better in japanese
7. do more yoga/meditate
8. take more photos; they capture moments in time better than anything else.
9. be more open-minded
10. follow your heart



And... just for kicks, here is a re-cap of the most memorable moments in 2012... 

2012 - highlights: 
(again, in no particular order)

1. got my first, real "big girl" job with insurance and the whole shbang!
2. got a part time job on top of my full time job, teaching me that I am capable of more than what I think I can
3. understanding patience with little kids 
4. an incredible surprise trip to San Diego/La Jolla with Dylan for our 2 year anniversary 
5. investing in Disneyland passes that undoubtedly paid for themselves in the end
6. a Berkeley/SF/SLO roadtrip with Dylan 
7. exploring and discovering so much of Los Angeles with friends and Dylan
8. spending our 3rd Christmas and New Years together as a couple
9. understanding what it means to be young and free
10. learning how much I love my sister 

In comparison to the resolutions list for 2012, I think I was indeed able to tick off some of these things... like, following my heart, being more open-minded, being patient... although I didn't take MORE pictures, I still continued to do so. I traveled around quite a bit that year, as it seems like road tripping was a major theme. But I can definitely say it was the second year in a row which, in retrospect, I spent a lot of time with those I truly and deeply care about. 



It seems silly at this point to make a resolutions list for 2013, so I guess I'd like to just do a re-cap of my highlights thus far... 

2013 so far... 
1. discovering the wonderful city of Seattle (& being stranded for a night in Portland!) with Dylan (and definitely major thanks to Tiffany and Ian for being such awesome hosts!) 
2. getting a job in Singapore 
3. spending loads of time with family (and god-family!) I never get to see (ie: being there for my grandpa's 88th!)
4. understanding and discovering my roots 
5. visiting Bali/Indonesia for the first time 
6. seeing friends and family again after half a year away, and learning just how important they are in my life
7. doing tons of yoga... and pilates too! 
8. reading more about the news (online) 
9. taking more photos 
10. being surprised (again!) by Dylan, with his trip to Singapore

...there's two more months left of this year. Definitely have to make sure I make the most of it! But funny how my resolutions for 2012 kind of manifested itself for the next year, as if there was some sort of delay. I always surprise myself with these, which is why I love making resolutions. It's almost like you're sending out a wish list to the universe...

xo

rain stories

sometimes all you need is to write... 

1. storm

I saw it in the distance.

The dark clouds, the deep rumbling, the gusts of wind... covering the outside world in this white sheet of sadness and coldness. I looked outside my window, barely recognizing the late morning view I woke up to every single day. From the eighth floor I could see the rippling of leaves on the tall, grand tree below shivering and swaying ever so gracefully against the brushes of wind and raindrops. It was astonishing how even in this complete whiteness, I could still see the vibrancy of the green exploding with each flicker of a wet leaf. It was, in a way, the tree's own defiance against this unexpected disturbance; for what else could it do? It knew it was coming and it couldn't be stopped; to be washed clean by coldness and sadness. 

I saw it in the distance. 

2. drops. 

It was the bluest body of water, comfortably cold, and it's movements over your skin lulled you into a calmness so peaceful, so perfect... floating away all the troubles, the horrible, gnawing, recurring thoughts that plague your sanity from dream to dream, from consciousness to consciousness. You let the water rush in and out of your ears, calming and cleansing all at once. And then, suddenly, the sky above opens. Thousands and thousands of tiny diamonds descend upon your floating self, quickly kissing you all over before succumbing to the blue vastness that envelops around you. They cascade all around in a sparkling haze, turning the crystal blue surrounding you into a sea of fascinating, dancing lights... like the stars themselves descended from the heavens... 

And in that moment, you were free... 

3. river mirror

Looking down, he saw a familiar face. Those lonely eyes, those permanently furrowed eyebrows, and that old scar that sat between them. They all stared back at him in that comfortable, familiar gaze that sometimes made him feel like Superman on certain days or Smeagol on others. But it was still there, it will always be there, he could be sure to rely on that person to go through everything and anything with him. He will need him, especially now. 

Suddenly, another figure appeared next to this face. It was another familiar face. The eyes were soft and kind, and she had this dazzling smile that created this warm glow inside of him every time it appeared. This gentle face looked at the other face with an adoration and intimacy that only lovers could understand. He watched this face admire the other, falling deeper and deeper into admiration and adoration,  regretting every bit of the pain he knew he inflicted on the one person who so loved him beyond words. 

Slowly, the images of these faces were sliced by the showering ripples of rain from above. The stillness of the river shattered into a million droplets of indecipherable liquid pixelations as the sky succumbed to its unbearable sadness. The familiar faces were gone, melting into the white nothingness that followed the rain drops as they crashed into the river waters. 

He looked up from this view, standing on this bridge in the sudden rain, only to find he was all alone.