so due to unforseen circumstances and my inability to navigate google as i have just decided to shift myself electronically over in hopes of ease and manageability (epic FAIL) i have basically given up and decided to start over. screw it. 

plus, i have decided to make this blog WORTHWHILE. 

for example, i have decided to do away with mindless complaining. 

i have decided to move away from the twelve year old "diary" mentality. 

i have decided now to focus in on interesting places i intend to visit. 

the strange situations that should befall me. 

the fabulous people i should (if i ever do) encounter. 

and i have also decided to record some of my own philosophical reflections that captivate me as i learn and grow through this wonder/hell known as life. 

and i begin with this interesting blog i encountered while on twitter. 

in this particular blog this writer describes the different investments we as humans input into our relationships with each other. i never in my life thought to put my relationships into that perspective; as a result it made me realize how selfish i had been this entire time, for in most of my relationships i had been withdrawing and withdrawing and eventually just taking out loan after loan all the while depositing menial amounts in comparison. it made me realize how lucky i am to have the people in my life, because it shows how they really DO care about me despite my greedy ways. it made me want to change the person i am now and try to be more considerate in regards to the people i suppossedly tell others i love. 

i also find it incredible how a simple blog can change my views. or maybe it just means i'm incredibly ignorant. 

by the way, i like my i's lowercased. it doesnt mean im ignorant. it's called a preference, thank you very much. okay, i digress. 

i think im going to be putting more emphasis on my relationships; i've got to stop focusing on myself and myself alone. i wouldn't be me without everyone i've met affecting me to some degree. 

speaking of which, i feel like i've definitely been impacted my relationship with one of my now closest friends, C. she's the funniest, down to earth, loudest, and just plain most ridiculous person i know and i absolutely love love love her to death. her patience with me is just incredible, and i think that despite the fact we knew each other merely as acquaintances throughout highschool,  becoming closer post graduation has truly centered me and grounded me in the sense that i can maintain who i truly am. i'm so grateful for her presence, despite the fact that sometimes i feel i cant truly talk to her about boys (i still have no explanation for this), she's really been there for me through everything college life has thrown at me. oh, and the fact that we share a love for music and imagawayaki doesn't hurt either. speaking of, there's this fabulous place called fulfilled pastries in beverly hills that i intend to visit with her soon. will return with a review sometime soon. 

alright. long day tomorrow. 

xoxo good night